My Opinion on Death

As a famous megaphysical blog, I write about important things that other blogs don’t even think about. Those other blogs write about Tiffany Spears or Ronald Trump or their own personal life. Well, I don’t even have a personal life due to the fact that I’m dedicated to important things which I blog about on this blog. If you have been paying attention to this blog you are probably amazed at how deep I go. That’s why this is a great blog as I have been saying about it all along.

Now I want to talk about death. There’s a lot of death going around these days. According to the internet, just this year alone at least six or seven people bought farms so to speak. (There’s probably a couple more too but nobody cares about them.) I think it could be cyclopedic like the price of gas except for the dying part. Sometimes it’s up and sometimes it’s down like the stock market. So maybe it’s more like the stock market than gas, or like the ocean which goes up and down too. You can probably take anything that goes up and down and make a case for it being like death. But the fact of it is that there’s nothing as dead as death so good luck with that.

It is not so easy to talk about death mostly because people who really know about it are dead. This poses a problem for getting facts about being dead. I do not think seances are the best way to go on that because I think the dead people who have time to come to one are probably pretty clueless about how dead they really are. Otherwise they would not be there in the first place. I also don’t think talking to people who say they have what you call a nearly death experience are that great to believe either. Being mostly dead is not the same thing as really dead (but don’t interrupt me with The Princess Bride movie which is a different dementia). And even being what you call formerly dead is not it either since anything formerly is not now which is what I’m concerned about on this blog now.

Some people believe in life after death. That is fine by me except if you have 72 virgins waiting for you or have to live on another planet. I don’t mind the virgin idea so much unless they are really ugly, and since there is no guarantee that they are total babes I wouldn’t want to take a chance on that belief because once you got them you’d be stuck with them forever. The owning your own planet thing is not a rosy situation either I’m telling you. I’ve seen pictures of Mars and it doesn’t look that fun.

Some people believe that when you die you are gone for good. This is probably closer to the real idea of death than the others who make it sort of a pit stop. Death is death, which is the end of life. If it’s not the end of life it’s not death. This is a simple thing to understand if you look it up in a dictionary, but probably not in Wikipedia which will give you all kinds of alternatives and links to religious options, which you know for sure by now I don’t want to be interrupted with. So let’s just say death is really deadness from life.

deathSometimes you see pictures of death with a long black robe and a cycle in his hands. This is what you call fornication which is treating something that’s not a person like a person. Lots of people fornicate their pets like they’re people too which is totally weird. But it’s weirder to believe that death is a guy with a black robe and cycle in his hand. That came about during the middle ages when a sickness called the black plague came around. They didn’t know what was causing it so they invented a person they could blame for it. It’s kind of like politics. But I don’t believe death is a person at all. It is the end of a person as far as I’m concerned about it.

Now this bugs most people who don’t want to be done with themselves permanently forever. I will have to admit I don’t really want to be done with myself either since I happen to like myself way more than death. This is not the same thing as being conceited since death is not much to compare to anyway being that it’s death. It’s no big deal to say you’re better than death which is not a person anyway so it can’t get upset about it.

Death is another way of saying over and out. It is plain and simple. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the story I hope you know. But don’t go thinking I’m going to get religious here. I will not be interrupted by religion even by myself since I’m convicted about it. People have invented all kinds of ways around the death issue, like Hindooism or Dancing with the Stars or the Rolling Stones. But they don’t hold water. You can’t dance around death at all. It is a fact of life, which is the other fact from sex. Sex and death. Those are the two facts of life that make a difference in life. I will quote Brook Shields, a former model who now is thinking about megaphysical issues too. She said, “When you die you lose a very important part of your life.” That is deep in my opinion of it. There’s not much you can add to that as far as a fact goes. The rest is what you call theoretical expectorating.

Still, I’m looking for loopholes to my theory.

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2 Responses

  1. I didn’t know you were still blogging, Fred! Anyway, this should set you straight:

  2. Also it reminds me of the Red Ryder BB gun essay from “A Christmas Story”

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