God vs iPad

As you would know if you have been reading this great blog, I do not like to be interrupted by religion. On this blog I talk about megaphysical issues which are more about the big questions of existence. As far as I know, God doesn’t have any questions due to the fact that anybody who gets voted to be God probably knows everything he needs to run the universe. I would not be against a God who had a couple of questions every once in a while, like say “Are you guys ever going to grow up down there?” or “So what is the square root of minus one anyway?” These are not what you’d call infacilitating issues for God but maybe more torical. Now if God came up to me and asked, “What’s the meaning of life?” I’d be a little worried, but like I said he probably doesn’t have a lot of questions like that. Except if he did as me about the meaning of life I’d help him out and have him read my great blogs on the subject. If you don’t know what the meaning of life is you can find out about it on these:

The Meaning of Life Part 1

The Meaning of Life Part 2

The Meaning of Life Part 3 (The Last Part)

The Meaning of Life the Last Part (for Serious)

The Meaning of Life the Real Last Part

Like I said, as a megaphysical expert I don’t like to get interrupted by religion, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t talk about God if I have to to explain something that needs God to back it up. He’s maybe the most metaphysical a person could ever be without getting all hung up on himself. (The gods who live in India are maybe an exception to this rule, mostly due to the fact of overcrowding which makes them a little weird, but you can read about them here so I won’t repeat myself about them for the sake of saying it again.) But most of the time I don’t bother God since he tends to be what you call categorical about things which kind of takes the fun out of it.

Which brings me to God vs iPad. You might think this is a stupid thing to talk about since God doesn’t even use an iPad probably. (I think he’s more into older technology, but I’m not sure for sure.) But the issue that I am broaching is that maybe the iPad is better than God. Well, first off, you have to have an iPad for it to be better than God. People who don’t have an iPad won’t be able to make the comparison from personal experience. Lots more people have iPhones so maybe lets just skip the iPad and do the iPhone instead. If you have a different kind of phone, like say one of those Amroids or those cheap trick phones you can buy at a grocery store, then you’d probably vote that God is better. But if you actually have an iPhone then you’d have a good competition in your hands. (Get it? In your hands instead of on your hands. This is to show that thinking above my mind doesn’t mean I’m not funny sometimes.)

Anyway, in the always with you department both God and iPhone are about even. When it comes to “hearing the call” as they say, iPhone gets better marks mostly due to the fact that you can use different rings tones and even put it on vibrate. (God’s earthquakes don’t count since they bother everybody and aren’t private even one bit.) Now that iPhone has Syria installed, you can talk to your iPhone just like you talk to God so they’re neck and neck on that too. iPhone definitely has the edge on finding good restaurants and uploading photos, and you can forget about God checking your email or forwarding tweets. God has a huge advantage in the end of the world wrath thing and as far as I know he doesn’t ever need charging (I could be wrong on this). Both iPhone and God are good at saving people except that they have way different areas of expertise so to speak. The iPhone is sort of expensive but from what I can tell God doesn’t come cheap either. Both iPhone users and God users are very religious about it, but maybe the thing that tips it is that people who flash their iPhones in public are considered cool and up to the minute; people who try that with God usually end up looking dorky and way behind the times. Also, from what I can tell, both the iPhone and God have to be updated every so often for them to still work.

So overall I guess it’s kind of a toss up. If you want something where you don’t have to vote Republican, go for the iPhone. If you’re more into the church thing, God’s probably your best bet, except from what I’ve seen almost everybody in church pulls out an iPhone during the service anyway.


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