Black Friday shopping day


The day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday. Except that now they’re starting it on Thanksgiving to distract from the Ronald Trump fiesta which I’m not going to get interrupted with by politics just like I don’t with religion on this great blog. People come to this blog for conception not for correctness, which explains my popularity mostly.

Anyway, Black Friday is supposedly the busiest shopping day in the whole year. Everybody gets out of bed early (some stores open at midnight which is the earliest you can officially drop being thankful) and they run to the stores to stand in line to buy stuff nobody needs. This is one of the great things about America that other countries should be jealous of. In America we have Thanksgiving so we can show everybody that we have enough food in this country to pig out with tons of leftovers and then we can get up the next morning and go buy things just because. We will even stand in line to show the world that we have more stuff than they do. The TV stations all cover this special day on the news too so we can shop all day and then go home to pig out on leftovers and watch ourselves on TV shopping, sort of like shopping leftovers kind of. It’s a pretty cool thing.

It is even better because we can turn it into a religious experience too. In the stores there is Santa who reminds us that he was born on Christmas and that we are buying stuff to honor his impervious birth. Sometimes school choirs show up in the stores to sing songs about him and those Salvation Army guys are at the door ringing those bells to get us to help other people in America get enough money to shop right along with the rest of us. Ring ring ring they go. Drop that quarter in the pot so a poor person can buy stuff too. It’s pretty emotional to take it all in at the same time.

Which we can’t really so we have many shopping days until Christmas and we even count them down to make us all feel like we’re letting down the whole country if we don’t go out and buy stuff too.

patton_1Now about the actual stuff.  It doesn’t matter. That’s the point. It’s not about what you buy even one little bit. That’s why they have those gift boxes of manicure boxes and cheap stuff that nobody in their right minds actually wants. But they are there for the shallow people to be able to particulate. They can just waltz right into the store and join the crowd. This makes them feel American. It is also a way for illegal immigrants to be American too. They can buy stuff just like everybody else and be proud.

This is such a great country due to the fact that we can go into debt and bail ourselves out at the same time. Here’s how it works. You go buy something you can’t afford by charging it. Then you don’t pay it back because the house that you bought for more than you should have is more than you can pay for. This means the bank can’t make money and they ask for help from the government. And because the government is by the people, of the people, and Ford, they will pay them off not to complain. And so it goes on.

Black Friday really should change its name to something like Pretend Friday or Stampede Friday or maybe use a different color every year. Then we could wear different color clothes in the stores and not worry about it. It’s such a great day in America that we’re even shortening Thanksgiving so we can get to the important holiday faster.

Well, that’s my opinion of it anyway.



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