The Meaning of Life Part 2

On my last blog before this one I talked about what everybody else thinks the meaning of life is. Not that I really care about what other people have come up with, but I figured I should at least mention their guesses so you would know that I know what’s out there in the meaning of life department. This shows that I am a professional at this as you would know already if you have been following this great blog.

I am not all that impressed with other people’s shots at the meaning of life. Some people think having a good time is the point. They are called heathenists. This works fine until you stub your toe or get a flat tire or have to go to the dentist. Then your whole meaning of life goes down the tubes like so much spit. (Ha! I just made that up which goes to show that even when I’m explaining the meaning of life I can come up with a good joke, but this doesn’t mean I think the meaning of life is a joke which is something I talked about last time so I won’t repeat myself again about it.) Heathenists figure that since they’re going to kick the bucket anyway, they might as well go out with a bling. But this just shows that they aren’t thinking above their minds one bit.

Then there are the stoists who think that the meaning of life is to just put up with it and not complain no matter what. Most stoists are boring and don’t do much in the way of fun at all, but they usually have nice yards and keep their cars washed and don’t play loud music so they’re better neighbors than the heathenists for sure. But as I just said, stoists are boring mostly and spend most of their time waiting for something bad to happen so they can not complain about it which is how they do the meaning of life. The fact of the manner is that when life is going good stoists get nervous because they have no way to know if they’re having a meaning of life at all. So they are relieved when there’s an earthquake or a fire or a plugged toilet. It makes them feel meaningful which is why they like things like demolition derbys and disaster shows like Survival or Dancing with the Stars. But this kind of meaning of life is what you call a self-filling prophecy which doesn’t count as a megaphysicality in my book.

Another meaning of life I don’t subside to is luckism. This is when you think that the meaning of life is totally a roll of the kitchen sink. This is not the same as somebody not having a meaning of life at all (called neilism after the guy who invented it). Anyway, I already talked about that in my last blog so I won’t repeat that for the sake of saying it again. Luckism, on the other stand, is when you’re pretty sure that there is a meaning of life but you think that it doesn’t matter much due to the fact that you could still get run over by a bus anyway. This is hard to argue with since a lot of people do get run over by busses. But if all it takes is getting run over by a bus to mess up the meaning of life then you mostly likely got one of those cheap knockups that looks like the real meaning of life but is a total fake.

There is one more main meaning of life I don’t agree with and that is from this guy called Catchdog or something that I met under the bridge. I don’t normally go under the bridge due to the fact that is smells like pee down there but this one time it was a short cut to get where I was going and so I kind of held my breath and walked really fast to get through there. Anyway, there was this guy who was just finishing up his business who asked me for some spare change which I never have any of out of definition. But to be polite I said no and he started talking about something that only later I figured out was his meaning of life. In between lots of babbly stuff he said this one thing I remember. He said “Nobody ranks.” That was it. I didn’t stick around to ask what he meant (the pee smell) but I most likely disagree with him anyway.

I looks like I will have to add another part to this meaning of life explanation to finally get to what the meaning of life actually is.

The Meaning of Life Part 3 (the last part)


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