The Middle of Nowhere

I am getting ready to leave the state of North Dakota where I have been as you would know if you have been reading this great blog. There is only so much flatness a person can take. Besides, I have totally given up finding my parents who are hiding someplace around here.

Well, as one last shot in finding them I decided to just aim my car and drive until I came to someplace, which let me tell you isn’t all that easy in this place. North Dakota is lots of space without much place if you want me to be poetical about it, which I could be more of if it didn’t make me seem too above myself. So there I am driving across all this flatness aiming at the horizon which North Dakota has 365 degrees of around, and I come to this town called Rugby. It is a real town that they call that. I have no idea how they came up with that name but it most likely some histronical significance.

Anyway, I drive through this town not seeing my parents when I nearly run into this pile of rocks. At first I thought it was one of those rock piles in the field and had a freak attack. Here is why I had that freak attack. Once when I was a kid my dad (who I can’t find around here) put me on a tractor and told me to cultivate a field. Cultivate does not me make a field cultured like in good manners or something. No I had to pull a thing behind that tractor that weeded the field. Now for a person who thinks above his mind a lot, this is a totally boring job and I would end up above my mind while I was on that tractor. One day I was cultivating a field and thinking above my mind and all of a sudden the tractor jumped all over the place and I stopped it with my heart pounding. I turned around and there was a huge pile of rocks behind me that I had just driven right over. I could have been totally killed. I am not ashamed to tell you that I left that tractor right there and never did farming again even in my mind.

So you can imagine what I experienced when I almost drove smack into that pile of rocks in Rugby. So I freaked for a second and then noticed how straight those rocks were stacked and that there was a sign on them saying these rocks were piled on the center of North America! I couldn’t believe how weird that was. Here was a pile of rocks right on top of the center of this whole world. Is it coincidence? You bet it isn’t. This was proof of what you call a megaphysical eruption right there in all that flatness. I couldn’t believe my luck. Here I was at the exact middle of nowhere and there was a pile of megaphysical rocks to prove it. Something like this can happen only once every long time, except for the people who live in Rugby who probably don’t even realize a megaphysical eruption when they see one.

I got out of my car to see if I could feel the center of nowhere. I didn’t have a mysticality like at that tree I already wrote about, but I did realize I had to go to the bathroom. So what do you think I did? I peed on those rocks like at the giant cow. It was windy for sure but this time I stood in the right direction and was able to hit that pile from about 15 feet away. It was pretty cool and I was for sure relieved afterwards too.


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