Barking Dogs

I am against barking dogs mostly due to the fact that I hate them. Hate is a strong word and should only be used for things you really hate even though it’s wimped out all the time for other things. Take for instance this example: “I hate celery.” This is what you call a misplacement of the word hate. The person who says he hates celery really means that he does not like to eat it which is what he should say instead of hate. You can dislike celery without wanting it dead and obliviated from the face of the earth. Which is what I think about barking dogs which makes hate the right word for it.

Some people might think that I am just a dog hater plain and simple. This is not mostly true due to the fact that I once had a dog as a pet. When I was little my parents got me a little white fluffy dog. I think it was a cross between a husky and a small white thing of some kind. It was blind in one eye (which is probably why my parents got it so cheap) and didn’t like to pee outside in the winter which was in North Dakota where I was raised. I didn’t hold it against that dog because when it is winter in North Dakota peeing outside is not a nice experience. I know this from personal experience. Once when I was outside playing and had to go pee like you wouldn’t believe. It was about 40 below and a really bad day to be outside playing but my parents dressed me all up in 20 pounds of clothes and said it was a fun day to be out. Apparently none of my neighbor friends had parents who thought that so I ended up outside in 40 below all by myself which is just a well since when you’re padded up in 20 pounds of clothes and coats you can’t play much except maybe 20 questions which you have to play really slow due to the fact that at 40 below your mouth doesn’t work very good.

So there I was outside and I had to go pee and didn’t dare go back inside until my parents weren’t looking so I found a place behind some bushes to take care of business. It was not easy finding a way out of all those clothes let me tell you. And when it’s 40 below you don’t exactly have the best aim or a lot of time to get the job done. It was a disaster and my whole front of myself froze up from the get go. I had to stand outside all crunchy and cold until I dared go back inside. I took all those clothes off and crammed them into my closet before anybody could see. But after they thawed out my mom smelled them out pretty doggone fast. Anyway, like I said, I didn’t hold it against my dog that it didn’t want to pee outside in the winter and now you know why.

This is to show you that I am not a cereal dog hater. But I am for sure a hater of barking dogs. This is not a misplacement. I want them obliviated and erased from the face of the earth for sure. Other than that I’m pretty reasonable about it.

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