I really like my title “Autobiograffiti.”  I made it up accidentally when I made a mistake. But I thought of it after the mistake and turned it into that cool title. This is another reason why this is such a great blog, for accidents like that. You could probably think of this whole blog as one really big accident if you believe in destiny, which I don’t unless you count having your toilet flood your house, which I do since I wouldn’t have flooded my house with toilet water if I had any choice in the matter.

Anyway, it is important to know about a person when they write a great blog like this one. You wonder what that person is like who can write a blog like this. So I am going to do a short story of my life now, but putting in only the most revelant facts so as in order not to write a book, which somebody should about me if you want to know. That would be what they call a biography because when you add an auto to it you have to have the person writing about themselves which this blog is about sometimes anyway. (Even when I’m thinking above my mind it’s still my own personal mind that I’m above doing it.) I just want to assure you that I am really writing this not some other person which would make this a biography or maybe a ghost story where somebody is pretending to be me writing it.

Anyway, I started out as a small kid, even a baby at one point. But that didn’t last for long as I grew up. I went to an elementary school called Campus School. It was called that because it was part of a college where college students came to the school to try out being a teacher. It was considered a laboratory school. That means they experimented with our mentalness which I talked about in my last blog last time. By the time I was done with that school I had been pretty much experimented on along with a bunch of other kids at that school who are mostly street people now or in jail. But I came out of it with flying colors which you can probably tell from this blog.

Then I went high school but that was pretty much a wash as they say. I didn’t get experimented on so that’s why. I did get elected student council president which shows I was a big shot. The fact that more kids voted total for the other candidates than for me is not the point. I won and the others didn’t. They are nobodies now as the fact that you don’t know who they are proves it. It’s kind of like Donald Trump except not political (which is another thing along with religion I won’t be interrupted with on this great blog).

After high school I went to college. My dad was a big shot at that college so all my teachers were afraid to give me bad grades which they didn’t. So I graduated from college and went to teach for one year high school. I lasted only one year at that high school because they didn’t appreciate that I did mental experiments on those kids. They didn’t get that I was trying to help those kids become more mental as I wrote about in my last post before. So I left there when the teachers all went on strike because I could not see standing in a line with signs which is so lame, especially in Minnesota in the winter. Why would you even want somebody who’d stand in a blizzard with a sign teach kids? That is a direct result of my education that I wouldn’t do that.

Anyway, then I went to more college (gradual school) to see if anybody was as mental as me. Do you think I found anybody? You bet I didn’t. College was a wash too because they tried to tell me stuff I don’t even believe in one bit like politics or history. You can believe in them if you want to but not me I’m telling you. I’m investing in my mental world where culture is safe.

So I tried religion for a few years because I heard that religion was about megaphysical things which I am pretty good at you already know. But I had problems with the preacher who I could tell wasn’t interested in the outside of reality where I spend most of my professional time. I also had some trouble with those tiny little cups with grape juice. After that I just did coffee in a bigger cup and that seems to work out better for me. This was not a religious issue (which I don’t like to be interrupted with like I said) but mostly a cup issue and I got that settled mostly.

So now I am at the point of now after getting this far. I can’t write about now because by the time I write it it’s not now but then which is a total requirement for history. I also don’t know about the future either which nobody really does except for those guys who write those left over books about the end times. I haven’t read any of those books so I can’t vouch for them one bit. But I will know about the future when it gets here so I’m not sweating it.

Now you know about me and can read this blog with confidence knowing that this blog is a great blog for reasons not just because you say it is.

.   .   .

Capital FM Jingle Bell Ball - Day 2 - Media Room


3 Responses

  1. i’d like to hear the audio of this with sylvester stallone as early “rocky balboa”
    pretty funny stuff fred

  2. you left out the part about the motorcycle

  3. The title is brilliant, actually. A Freudian slip? or perhaps more of a Carlinian slip…

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