snowshovelSnow is not all it’s cracked up to be.  Some people think it is romantic like a picture on a credit card.  Others think it is fun to fall around in or throw at each other.  Others like to pee their names in it or eat it like a snow cone (probably not at the same time).  Others like snow not to be in it like staying inside drinking hot chocolate and eating watermelon.  Some people like snow because it’s the only time their junky yard looks as good as the neighbor’s.  Kids like snow due to the fact that it can close school and they can spend all day texting their friends at home instead of in class.  Some people like snow because they imagine that nature is sleeping and getting ready for spring.  Poetical people like snow because it helps them write poems about death, which is a favorite topic to write poems about.  I remember one of those poems that I wrote a long time ago.  It goes like this:

The snow is on everything
It is white and fluffy and freezing.
It reminds me about suffering
and death and hell
for some reason.
I think I’ll go back to bed.

I’m not saying it’s the greatest poem in the world, but it shows you about how snow isn’t all that great. (Oh, and if you want to know my megaphysical opinion on death click HERE.)

First of all, snow is frozen water on the ground.  It is a broken hip just waiting to happen.  And your car is covered in it which means you have to drive 5 or six miles before you can see anything out the windshield.  I’ve done that and it’s not exactly safe, but snow does that to a person.  Snow is also the opposite of summer, which was voted as the best season for things like swimming and skin cancer.

The only good thing about snow is that it is required for a real Christmas.  If there is no snow, you can only have a fake Christmas like in LA or Miami.  Totally bogus.  I don’t even know why they have Christmas in those places.  It’s a complete joke if you ask me.  I say they should just forget it and move on.  It would be the honest thing to do.

You can have your own relationship with snow if you want.  That’s your privacy.  Besides you probably have to make the best of it because there’s not much you can do about it.  Besides, I suppose we should be happy that it’s not something like lava that comes down every so often.  I bet those guys by that volcano Vestivius would have liked snow instead.  But they’re dead, which goes to prove my point about snow anyway.

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